What are some funny and smart quotes?

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

Pedro Pascal, Ariana Grande and Dua Lipa Sign Open Letter Supporting Federal Funding for LGBTQ+ Youth Suicide Prevention - Variety

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

Why are Christians quick to say that there are a lot the gay Christians that exist NOW and use that to pretend that Christianity is just loving to gays when the last 40 years of my life they been horrible?

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

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“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”